


A Million Words Cut My Skin (But I Won't Let The Sunshine In)

by joeriezeilany



Series: Self Insert Madness [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Apparently Summaries Are Hard Too, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, I'm Bad At Summaries, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Self-Insert, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:02:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23532019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joeriezeilany/pseuds/joeriezeilany
Summary: In a village full of misery, what would happen if a child gains the memories of a young adult? Will he rise or will he fall?
Series: Self Insert Madness [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1870318
Comments: 6
Kudos: 21





	A Million Words Cut My Skin (But I Won't Let The Sunshine In)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I should be working on my other fic but this and other ideas won't leave me alone. And apparently now that I have decided to post a work, they demand to be posted too.
> 
> So, yeah! Here's the beginning of another fic.
> 
> Thanks so much to my ever wonderful friend Nammy for checking this out!
> 
> Enjoy!

The problem with being sealed in a newborn is that they are a blank canvas whereas you, you are already in the process of becoming a masterpiece... and unlike the Kyuubi, with whom shockingly you suddenly share a body with, you don't have the assurance of a seal to block you out of the baby's blank soul. Thus, you find yourself floating freely amidst the mindscape, your soul slowly yet surely bleeding into the host’s soul, a nasty side effect to say the least.

Now, we didn’t have the time to acquaint ourselves with these side effects... because as mentioned above, the mere sight of the Kyuubi himself is enough to distract you from thinking about that. Nevermind the fact that you never expected to ‘wake up’ in the first place.

  


You couldn’t help but marvel at the immense beast, gaping at it, or him probably, as it rages about the fact that it was sealed again and cursing the goddamn “Yondaime”, which clued you in to where the fuck you are if nothing else. Words could not describe the fear, the bone-trembling terror at seeing such a monstrosity. This gargantuan fox, that somehow had opposable thumbs, frothing at the mouth right in front of you as you stood there in its shadow, barely reaching the size of its claws at a measly 5 feet.

  


It was only when it had exhausted itself with rage, when the lumbering creature finally calmed down, did it notice you. As its eyes, the colour of crimson blood rooted you with its piercing gaze, its chest rumbled with a growl so bitter you could choke on it. 

  


“Who the fuck are you?” the Kyuubi growled with malice, the rumble of his snarl shaking the ground upon which you stood.

  


“Umm, hi!!” You began shrilly, voice breaking with fear, you cough up the fear that had clogged itself within your throat before continuing “Yes, I uhh. I’m me?” You responded, voice full of uncertainty, you knew a simple misspoken word could end in your demise. However, having been asked a direct question, you find that yes, you did remember quite a lot from your previous life. You found yourself flooded by an ocean of memories, swirling within the pools of your mind, answers to what had happened finally satisfied yet one question frustratingly remained unanswered, just what was your name?

  


The Kyuubi glared a glare so intense, you feared you would burn up in its heat. The large beast prowled closer to you, sizing you up like a predator would its prey, it opened it’s vicious maw, a maw lined with bladed teeth as it spoke once more.“You’re sealed in this mindspace. You are a free soul.” it stated, its tone curious yet still dripping with malice.

  


After taking a moment to recollect yourself, you finally replied “I guess I am… you can call me Amarah.” You, Amarah, told the Kyuubi hesitantly. Because apparently with the memories you had retained, it helpfully included your vast collection of code names. You quite liked the detachment from your ‘real name’. Might also create a case of multiple personality disorder. Which you think so far, you don't have. Yet. Probably. Hopefully?

  


“I don’t care.” the Kyuubi, Kurama if you recalled correctly, growled in disappointment, clearly displeased with your reply. The creature turned around and went deeper inside its cage, clearly having grown bored of your presence thankfully. Can you get away with calling it Kurama? Hmm. probably not. It would be best not to piss off the big fox with huge, razor-sharp teeth and claws that could rip you apart.

  


\---

  


You had lost track of how much time had passed in this empty void, then again it was difficult keeping track of something you had no idea how to keep track of. What counted as a minute in here? An hour? You didn’t know. Amarah just wasn’t sure about how much time she’d been here in this void. Because it was a void. An endless black emptiness with damp floors facing one end and the cage on the other end. The Kyuubi didn’t wake up or shift again after that initial interaction so there was no one to talk to. Which just leaves her to her thoughts. And memories.

  


A lot of people would probably tell you that Amarah shouldn’t be left alone in her thoughts. She tends to overthink and couple that with anxiety and depression, it was a recipe for disaster.

  


She can’t remember why nor how she died, just that it was too much all at once. The last thing she could remember was there being a pandemic and that they were in lockdown or something. She didn’t think she was infected though… at least that’s what she thought. The news was all so horrifying, she tends to turn her head away from it all because doing anything else just made her blood boil. 

  


Okay, time to distract herself. Thinking about that while in this situation wouldn’t be any good for her mental health.

  


Looking around the sheer nothingness surrounding her once more, she figured since she was already here in this mindscape or is it sealscape? Whatever. Since she was already here, she might as well try to redecorate. The Addams Family Goth would fit perfectly here, her on the other hand, not so much. 

  


So, she thought really hard about having a couch because the floor was much too hard and she’d prefer spending her days here in relative comfort. She recalled something about the mental aspect being a Yin something and well, she figured she had that in spades considering she doesn’t have a corporeal body.

  


Turns out, she can materialize things she remembered if she thinks hard enough and now her couch is exactly the same as the one she had at her home before all this. So, she builds up from there. Couch first, then her bed, then her favourite clothes, bedsheets, quilts, pillows. It took a long time, with much trial and error, but she doesn’t have anything else to do here anyway so the distraction was welcome. And with everything she conjures, it became easier and easier and by the time she thought of starting a library she didn’t have to exert herself as much to conjure anything. 

  


Now, the books were a different matter. She closed her eyes and concentrated all her focus on the books of her past, of the fanfictions she so lovingly enjoyed, she could feel her lips morph into a smile as the memories of warm nights spent reading came back to her. She felt something grow heavier in her hands and as she opened her eyes, the books that were so beloved to her were there before her very eyes, materialised in her hand. 

  


And so, time flew by as she got to work, building her own slice of paradise amidst the emptiness of the void. Time passes and she doesn’t have to sleep so she just keeps going. Replicating anything that came to mind.

  


Amarah couldn’t help but ponder upon her situation, was it the Kyuubi who had something to do with it, was it his chakra? She thought as she noticed the red wisps of something escaping every now and then from the cage, leaking out and spreading across the inch high water on the floor. Or was it the Shinigami? When it? they? sealed the Kyuubi to baby Naruto. She wonders about how Naruto is doing and how long it has been since she appeared here. She resolutely doesn’t think about the consequences of her presence here because she doesn’t have the security of a seal… What does that mean for Naruto? She’s just thankful that she’s not merged or taken over Naruto, oh gods she didn't think she could live like him if that were to happen. For all the stories she’s read about self inserting in the main character, it remains two dimensional to her. Something to read, entertain, escape to. Not reality, because reality rarely ever is as pleasing as fiction and it has never been something to escape to. At least to her.

  


Time passes on like that. She meditates in the barren silence, thinks of something and then tries to replicate it as tangibly as she can. Rinse and repeat. 

  


That is, until one day, she doesn't know how nor why but a sudden bubbling coldness rose from the water as fear and panic spread across the sealscape. It was then that Kyuubi finally shifted from his position and as he did his chakra  _ surged  _ in a way it had never done before. But the Kyuubi didn't wake up, he hadn’t even opened his eyes and so she was forced to stand there thinking  _ what just happened _ when there was a shift in the air and a splash as if something just landed on the floor. 

  


Scratch that, someone. Because there was a child. A toddler maybe, so incredibly small and frail-looking.

  


Amarah approached the child only to find various bruises across it's tiny body. It made her blood boil… Just who would harm a child to such an extent? To bruise and batter such innocence? She approached the child, reaching a hand out to caress the child and offer it comfort but as she did a sudden shock of energy surged within the mindscape so intensely it left her breathless with lightheadedness. She found herself collapsing as darkness took hold of her.

  


**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistakes not caught in editing. I'm not a native english speaker.
> 
> Edit: I do have a [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/pf39SDd) so if you wanna hang out~ :))


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